Did you ever encounter those little dolls called “worry dolls”? They’re tiny dolls made out of wire and thread and they come in a small box. They look like this:
The idea is that when you go to bed, you tell the worry dolls all of your worries and then the dolls can worry about them for you so your mind is cleared up to sleep. I can’t remember who gave me some worry dolls, but it was a pretty appropriate gift. As a kid, I had a lot of worries. In addition, my thinking face makes me look like I’m worried. So whenever I’d be deep in thought, people would ask me what I was worried about. I did a lot of thinking, so I’m sure I appeared to be an expert worrier in dire need of small dolls.
As I did indeed have a lot of worries anyway, I thought I’d try it out. I tried it out for a few nights, telling each doll a different worry. I only had seven dolls so they only got seven of my worries on each night. Then I’d put them under my pillow and try to sleep a bit better.
After a few days, I didn’t feel so great about this arrangement.
Oh god. OH GOD. What kind of miserable lives were these tiny dolls living?? Every night I burden them with a new worry and they’re doomed to churn the thought over and over for the entire night and possibly the day as well, trapped under the pillow in the dark until I gave them something new to worry about! The poor, sad, worrying little bastards! What kind of awful person was I, to burden them with my troubles?
Soon I was too worried about the welfare of my worry dolls to tell them my worries anymore.
And now I’ve got another thing to worry about.
This is some of the shorter stuff I’ve been recording in Evernote for the last year or so. Enjoy.
Mary had a little spoon
Which bent much like a crescent moon
And if the spoon bent right around
Mary would eat upside-down
Instead of analyzing the wondrous for fear we can never reconstruct it, we should enjoy it while we have it in this moment.
I had a dream I was eating heaps of chocolate. That’s the best kind of dream. The worst one is where you’re resisting eating heaps of chocolate and you wake up and think “no! I had the chance to eat guilt-free dream chocolate and I turned it down!” And then you eat real chocolate.
What kind of noise do you reckon bees make when they’re throwing up into those little honeycombs? Is it like BLERRGH? Like “blark!”? Maybe it’s like “bzzlkkrrt”?
Live your values.
How do ghosts sit down? Do they have to sit on the floor? Isn’t it uncomfortable?
Magic is just the occurrence of something incredible, that defies explanation. It’s arrogant to think that we, the human race, are at a point where we can explain everything. Not even close. What is love? What is music? There is magic.
Having arms – how good is it? We’ve been through this before. And arms are AWESOME.
I don’t know what serendipity means to you, but to me it will always be a pink dinosaur.
Dewi: azure: explain to me how something as pointy as an elementary particle can even have a face I can draw a dot on
trisherino: is this like some kind of moebius strip thing
azure: EXPLAIN IT TO ME!
Dewi: azure: like what are we talking about here? Aren’t they spin infinity? To me all gravitons look the same no matter what angle
Dewi: azure: also, all gravitons look the same, because I’m a fucking racist, but that’s another issue
trisherino: blam this piece of crap!
trisherino: Dewi, figlet says it won’t run on my 64-bit machine
Dewi: trisherino: what platform?
Dewi: trisherino: cygwin?
Dewi: I haven’t found any others for windows :(
***Kewn raises an eyebrow
Kewn: trisherino: how are you running figlet, if not in cygwin?
Kewn: TO ME
Kewn: is there a java one these days?
Dewi: trisherino: it’s a unix program
Dewi: trisherino: so unless you’re talking about linux you must be using an emulation layer like cygwin, an API wrapper like MINGW, or some kind of port
trisherino: I…I don’t know!
Dewi: trisherino: where did you get it?
Dewi: they don’t have a windows version there
trisherino: sure they do
trisherino: well I got the dos one
trisherino: although there is FIGWin, which I was highly suspicious of
Dewi: yeah, both those binaries are over 10 years old
Dewi: so they predate NT, let alone x64
trisherino: cygwin eh
trisherino: shupt winrar! I’m not paying for you
Dewi: cygwin is a whole unix-on-windows hack emulation layer thing
Dewi: maybe I should try to do a mingw build of figlet for x64
Dewi: actually, no
Dewi: trisherino, I think you should install virtualbox
Dewi: and run a VM for figlet
Dewi: cause it’s the right thing to do.
trisherino: how’s about no
Dewi: hang on I have a web one
Dewi: trisherino: http://www.patorjk.com/software/taag/
Dewi: that’s a bit easier
Dewi: stupid font default though, figlet defaults to something like “Big”
Dewi: ah actually it’s ‘standard’
trisherino: that does seem easier than installing some kind of unix emulator just to get massive ascii art words
(some time later…)
blam this piece of crap!
JuanC: hear hear!
JuanC: ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __
JuanC: U | __”)u |”| U /”\ uU /”\ uU /”\ uU /”\ uU /”\ uU|’ \/ ‘|u
JuanC: \| _ \/U | | u \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \| |\/| |/
JuanC: | |_) | \| |/__ / ___ \ / ___ \ / ___ \ / ___ \ / ___ \ | | | |
JuanC: |____/ |_____|_/ \_\/_/ \_\/_/ \_\/_/ \_\/_/ \_\ |_| |_|
JuanC: _|| \\_ // \\ \\ >> \\ >> \\ >> \\ >> \\ >><<,-,,-.
JuanC: (__) (__) (_")("_)__) (__)__) (__)__) (__)__) (__)__) (__)(./ \.)
JuanC: _____ _ _ ____
JuanC: |_ " _| |'| |'| ___ / __"| u
JuanC: | | /| |_| |\ |_"_| <\___ \/
JuanC: /| |\ U| _ |u | | u___) |
JuanC: u |_|U |_| |_| U/| |\u |____/>>
JuanC: _// \\_ // \\.-,_|___|_,-.)( (__)
JuanC: (__) (__)_”) (“_)\_)-’ ‘-(_/(__)
JuanC: ____ U _____ u ____U _____ u
JuanC: U| _”\ u ___ \| ___”|/U /”___|| ___”|/
JuanC: \| |_) |/ |_”_| | _|” \| | u | _|”
JuanC: | __/ | | | |___ | |/__ | |___
JuanC: |_| U/| |\u |_____| \____||_____|
JuanC: ||>>_.-,_|___|_,-.<< >> _// \\ << >>
JuanC: (__)__)\_)-’ ‘-(_/(__) (__)(__)(__)__) (__)
JuanC: U ___ u _____
JuanC: \/”_ \/ |” ___|
JuanC: | | | |U| |_ u
JuanC: .-,_| |_| |\| _|/
JuanC: \_)-\___/ |_|
JuanC: \\ )(\\,-
JuanC: (__) (__)(_/
JuanC: ____ ____ _ ____ _
JuanC: U /”___|U | _”\ uU /”\ uU| _”\ uU|”|u
JuanC: \| | u \| |_) |/ \/ _ \/ \| |_) |/\| |/
JuanC: | |/__ | _ < / ___ \ | __/ |_|
JuanC: \____| |_| \_\ /_/ \_\ |_| (_)
JuanC: _// \\ // \\_ \\ >> ||>>_ |||_
JuanC: (__)(__) (__) (__)__) (__)__)__) (__)_)
***trisherino1 laughs at all that occurred in her absence
trisherino1: JuanC: that’s exactly how I wanted to say it. Hence the figlet rant directly afterwards.
trisherino1: hm speaking of which
***trisherino1 fires up cygwin
***trisherino1 tries to remember unix commands
***trisherino1 tries to remember what cygwin is
Kewn: trisherino1: You know this! It’s a unix system!
trisherino1: it’s been a while, alright? I’m not a fucking elephant.
trisherino1: whoa what the hell
interloper: trisherino1: cygwin is an extremely clever and skillful program, that has manipulated us into ways of thinking that may be contrary to our own interests, but beneficial to the interests of the powers that be… beneficial to the interests of those who control our lives, and tax us until we have hardly a penny left to spend, take our money, and plough it into the creation of huge, armed bureaucracies, which exist to oppress us. We live in a s
interloper: today where we may not make decisions, to explore our own consciousness. If I am not sovereign over my own consciousness, then I am sovereign over nothing.
trisherino1: oi, ls bitch
trisherino1: ok you’re gonna need to dumb this down for me :(
JuanC: cygwin is like unix for your windows machine
JuanC: it’s unix for your windows machine
JuanC: cygwin is unix for your windows machine.
JuanC: OH NO
JuanC: THE COMPUTAR MACHEEN
interloper: IT EXISTS TO OPRESS US!
trisherino1: so why the hell won’t it let me get out of the bloody cygwin directory?
trisherino1: nooo damn you cygwin
trisherino1: there is more to the world than ever dreamed in your imagination
JuanC: cd /c
trisherino1: no joy
trisherino1: do I have to run it from c:? that’s a bit retarded
Kewn: what are you trying to do?
trisherino1: well, anything
Kewn: do you have a cygwin prompt up?
Kewn: so what are you trying to do that you can’t?
trisherino1: navigate to any other directory outside of cygwin
Kewn: cd /cygdrive/[your drive letter]
Dewi: trisherino1: if you just want figlet you just type ‘figlet msg’
Dewi: trisherino1: and if that doesn’t work, you didn’t select the figlet package during install and you’ll want to run install again (yes, this is how you add/remove pacakges in cygwin)
Dewi: trisherino1: I feel sick just talking about it. You totally should have installed an ubuntu or debian VM
(Some time even later…)
trisherino1: argh! no gcc
Dewi: trisherino1: what the hell
Dewi: trisherino1: you’re compiling stuff now?!
Dewi: what have I created?
trisherino1: Dewi: figlet gave me all its source code
trisherino1: instead of something executable
trisherino1: le sigh
***trisherino1 goes back to figlet.org
trisherino1: Dewi: helllllp meeeee
trisherino1: hmmm oooh this keyboard is a little bit nicer. Spacebar is a bit temperamental though.
***trisherino1 downloads gcc
***Kewn strikes trisherino with a candlestick
(This went on for a few weeks. As it turns out, all that had to be done was install Cygwin and tick the box on an “install figlet” setting.)
This one tastes like charcoal and buckyballs
This one tastes like arteries.
This one tastes like a butter balloon, with a hint of flowers.
This one tastes like ham crayons.
Actually it tastes like boats and hassleback boars.
This one tastes like a bad ballet of roses.
This one tastes like mildly terrified beef.
This one tastes like a clown car full of lemons.
This one tastes like a fig newton dining in a Chinese restaurant.
This one tastes like spicy eels.
I’m a wine reviewer.
embersalt: hey cool, check out today’s google logo
Dewi: embersalt: don’t you feel too scarred by that?
Dewi: I respect Art Clokey’s achievements but I still feel somewhat violated by them
embersalt: Dewi: it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable
embersalt: Dewi: I can’t really explain why
Dewi: Also I used to wonder if it would be updated for modern parlance
Dewi: In the 50s, people would call somebody a “blockhead”, so they came up with the genius of having them with literal blocks for heads
Dewi: so ever since I’ve been waiting for the new gumby to have *literal* shitheads
Dewi: or *literal* fuckheads
Dewi: it’s only logical.
embersalt: literal dickheads, at the very least
Dewi: yeah, that!
Dewi: I think that’s more what I thought of actually
Dewi: every time I saw them on screen
Dewi: I’d think “nobody says blockhead anymore”
Dewi: and then I’d picture a lovely clay penis
Dewi: you know, crafted, by an artist
Dewi: Also his friend was called prickle
Dewi: which is almost but not quite as disturbing as having a stoner character called “shaggy”
Dewi: or Master Bates from captain pugwash
There needs to be a word for when people are trying to do something nice for you but they’re actually hugely inconveniencing you. Like if you say you’re hungry and they go and harpoon a whale and drag its bloodied carcass into your living room.
“You said you were hungry, so I brought you a snack.”
I hate it when that happens.
(9:38:25 PM) Dewi: sigh
(9:38:41 PM) Dewi: life is frustrating
(9:39:07 PM) Dewi: is it to late to join you for the genocide option azure ?
(9:41:37 PM) trisherino: +1
(9:41:41 PM) trisherino: wait who are we genociding?
(9:41:48 PM) Dewi: bilateria
(9:41:58 PM) Dewi: got a front, back, left and right side?
(9:42:04 PM) Dewi: f**k those guys
(9:42:16 PM) trisherino: f**k yeah who do they think they are?
(9:42:28 PM) trisherino: three-dimensional bastards
(9:43:51 PM) Dewi: it’s okay to be 3 dimensional
(9:44:03 PM) Dewi: it’s only directionality that I have a problem with
(9:44:08 PM) trisherino: oh
(9:44:16 PM) Dewi: trees and bacteria don’t have sides or a front and back
(9:45:05 PM) Dewi: there’s the special case of radial organisms like starfish
(9:45:10 PM) Dewi: I haven’t decided how I feel about those yet
(9:45:15 PM) trisherino: what about soles?
(9:45:28 PM) azure: dewi: it’s never too late for genocide
(9:45:49 PM) ***azure laughs at dewi’s criteria
(9:45:53 PM) Dewi: trisherino: they’re not very convincing
(9:46:04 PM) trisherino: they’ve only got 2 sides though
(9:46:08 PM) azure: starfish are spin 1/5th.
(9:46:11 PM) Dewi: trisherino: I mean, yeah, you moved an eye around the other side, you’re still a c**t
(9:46:15 PM) ***trisherino laughs
Here are some reviews of movies that I haven’t seen lately.
Oranges and Sunshine
Emily Watson plays Margaret Humphreys, a social worker who uncovers a scandal, possibly involving the effects of photons on oranges. Hero to children by day and hero to citrus by night, Margaret’s illegal studies into biological weaponry lead her down a path of no return. Her acting is flawless, and the special effects incredible. Featuring an ensemble cast of thousands, this is a blockbuster that you don’t want to miss.
Jake Gyllenhaal plays a decorated vampire soldier in this epic thriller. As a programmer in the armed forces, his pale antisocial demeanour and adversity to sunlight mean he flies under the radar of suspicion. But one day on the battlefield, a comrade of his is mortally wounded and the smell of blood distracts him before he can check in his source code. Once the code is in enemy hands, it is up to him to reacquire it before his manager finds out. But can he do it without his comrades discovering his terrible secret?
Bridesmaids: On Stranger Tides
Long have the Maids of Bride held their reign of terror over the alien world of Apatow. But in this world that cries out for a hero, one man hears the call. In this rip-roaring sci-fi pirate comedy, Johnny Depp reprises his role as Captain Jack Sparrow to free the Apatownians from the Bridesmaids and steal treasure. This hilarious story of stirring intrigue will delight women and children of all ages. Highly recommended.
Since Winter’s hit Australia, Jed and I have been missing the delicious clam chowder of Fisherman’s Wharf. Then we remembered the awesome corn and bacon chowder that I invented several years ago. Soup = a warm tummy, and that’s what Winter’s all about.
1 tbs olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 leek, sliced
5 rashers bacon, rind and fat trimmed
500g yellow flesh potatoes, peeled and quartered
4 cobs of sweet corn
1 x 125g can creamed corn
4 cups milk (can use low fat if preferred)
1 cup chicken stock
4 tbs Mersey Valley cheese or 8 tbs grated tasty cheese (optional)
Put the sweet corn in a microwaveable container, cover and microwave for about 4 minutes, or just use the vegetable setting on your microwave. Set aside to cool, then cut the corn from the cobs and discard the cobs.
Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the bacon and fry until just getting crispy. Add the onion and leek and saute until the onion and leek are soft. Add the potato and corn and mix. Add the chicken stock, creamed corn and milk. Bring to the boil and let it simmer for 20mins.
Use a potato masher to mash the potato in the soup.
If you like, you can add 1tbs of crumbled Mersey Valley cheese or 2tbs of grated tasty cheese to each bowl before serving. Stir well.
Do all of the chopping in advance and put the chopped ingredients into separate small bowls. It will make it faster and easier to cook and there will be less risk of burning the soup.
Does it freeze? Oh yes! Soup like this is great for making in huge batches and freezing for a quick meal later.