The long way to figlet


trisherino: blam this piece of crap!
trisherino: Dewi, figlet says it won’t run on my 64-bit machine
Dewi: trisherino: what platform?
Dewi: trisherino: cygwin?
Dewi: I haven’t found any others for windows :(
trisherino: ehwhat?
***Kewn raises an eyebrow
Kewn: trisherino: how are you running figlet, if not in cygwin?
Kewn: EXPLAIN
Kewn: TO ME
Kewn: is there a java one these days?
Dewi: trisherino: it’s a unix program
Dewi: trisherino: so unless you’re talking about linux you must be using an emulation layer like cygwin, an API wrapper like MINGW, or some kind of port
trisherino: I…I don’t know!
Dewi: trisherino: where did you get it?
trisherino: http://www.figlet.org/
Dewi: they don’t have a windows version there
trisherino: sure they do
trisherino: well I got the dos one
Dewi: oh
trisherino: although there is FIGWin, which I was highly suspicious of
Dewi: yeah, both those binaries are over 10 years old
Dewi: so they predate NT, let alone x64
trisherino: beh
trisherino: cygwin eh
trisherino: shupt winrar! I’m not paying for you
Dewi: cygwin is a whole unix-on-windows hack emulation layer thing
Dewi: maybe I should try to do a mingw build of figlet for x64
Dewi: actually, no
Dewi: trisherino, I think you should install virtualbox
Dewi: and run a VM for figlet
Dewi: cause it’s the right thing to do.
***trisherino laughs
trisherino: how’s about no
Dewi: hang on I have a web one
Dewi: trisherino: http://www.patorjk.com/software/taag/
Dewi: that’s a bit easier
Dewi: stupid font default though, figlet defaults to something like “Big”
Dewi: ah actually it’s ‘standard’
trisherino: that does seem easier than installing some kind of unix emulator just to get massive ascii art words

(some time later…)

JuanC:
blam this piece of crap!
JuanC: hear hear!
JuanC: ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __
JuanC: U | __”)u |”| U /”\ uU /”\ uU /”\ uU /”\ uU /”\ uU|’ \/ ‘|u
JuanC: \| _ \/U | | u \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \/ _ \/ \| |\/| |/
JuanC: | |_) | \| |/__ / ___ \ / ___ \ / ___ \ / ___ \ / ___ \ | | | |
JuanC: |____/ |_____|_/ \_\/_/ \_\/_/ \_\/_/ \_\/_/ \_\ |_| |_|
JuanC: _|| \\_ // \\ \\ >> \\ >> \\ >> \\ >> \\ >><<,-,,-.
JuanC: (__) (__) (_")("_)__) (__)__) (__)__) (__)__) (__)__) (__)(./ \.)
JuanC: _____ _ _ ____
JuanC: |_ " _| |'| |'| ___ / __"| u
JuanC: | | /| |_| |\ |_"_| <\___ \/
JuanC: /| |\ U| _ |u | | u___) |
JuanC: u |_|U |_| |_| U/| |\u |____/>>
JuanC: _// \\_ // \\.-,_|___|_,-.)( (__)
JuanC: (__) (__)_”) (“_)\_)-’ ‘-(_/(__)
JuanC: ____ U _____ u ____U _____ u
JuanC: U| _”\ u ___ \| ___”|/U /”___|| ___”|/
JuanC: \| |_) |/ |_”_| | _|” \| | u | _|”
JuanC: | __/ | | | |___ | |/__ | |___
JuanC: |_| U/| |\u |_____| \____||_____|
JuanC: ||>>_.-,_|___|_,-.<< >> _// \\ << >>
JuanC: (__)__)\_)-’ ‘-(_/(__) (__)(__)(__)__) (__)
JuanC: U ___ u _____
JuanC: \/”_ \/ |” ___|
JuanC: | | | |U| |_ u
JuanC: .-,_| |_| |\| _|/
JuanC: \_)-\___/ |_|
JuanC: \\ )(\\,-
JuanC: (__) (__)(_/
JuanC: ____ ____ _ ____ _
JuanC: U /”___|U | _”\ uU /”\ uU| _”\ uU|”|u
JuanC: \| | u \| |_) |/ \/ _ \/ \| |_) |/\| |/
JuanC: | |/__ | _ < / ___ \ | __/ |_|
JuanC: \____| |_| \_\ /_/ \_\ |_| (_)
JuanC: _// \\ // \\_ \\ >> ||>>_ |||_
JuanC: (__)(__) (__) (__)__) (__)__)__) (__)_)
***trisherino1 laughs at all that occurred in her absence
trisherino1: JuanC: that’s exactly how I wanted to say it. Hence the figlet rant directly afterwards.
trisherino1: hm speaking of which
***trisherino1 fires up cygwin
***JuanC laughs
***trisherino1 tries to remember unix commands
trisherino1: shit.
***trisherino1 tries to remember what cygwin is
Kewn: trisherino1: You know this! It’s a unix system!
trisherino1: it’s been a while, alright? I’m not a fucking elephant.
trisherino1: whoa what the hell
interloper: trisherino1: cygwin is an extremely clever and skillful program, that has manipulated us into ways of thinking that may be contrary to our own interests, but beneficial to the interests of the powers that be… beneficial to the interests of those who control our lives, and tax us until we have hardly a penny left to spend, take our money, and plough it into the creation of huge, armed bureaucracies, which exist to oppress us. We live in a s
interloper: today where we may not make decisions, to explore our own consciousness. If I am not sovereign over my own consciousness, then I am sovereign over nothing.
trisherino1: oi, ls bitch
trisherino1: sigh
trisherino1: soooooo…
trisherino1: holy
trisherino1: ok you’re gonna need to dumb this down for me :(
JuanC: cygwin is like unix for your windows machine
JuanC: it’s unix for your windows machine
JuanC: cygwin is unix for your windows machine.
JuanC: OH NO
JuanC: THE COMPUTAR MACHEEN
interloper: IT EXISTS TO OPRESS US!
trisherino1: so why the hell won’t it let me get out of the bloody cygwin directory?
trisherino1: nooo damn you cygwin
trisherino1: there is more to the world than ever dreamed in your imagination
JuanC: cd /c
JuanC: ?
trisherino1: no joy
trisherino1: do I have to run it from c:? that’s a bit retarded
Kewn: what are you trying to do?
trisherino1: well, anything
Kewn: do you have a cygwin prompt up?
trisherino1: yup
Kewn: so what are you trying to do that you can’t?
trisherino1: navigate to any other directory outside of cygwin
Kewn: cd /cygdrive/[your drive letter]
trisherino1: ah
Dewi: trisherino1: if you just want figlet you just type ‘figlet msg’
Dewi: trisherino1: and if that doesn’t work, you didn’t select the figlet package during install and you’ll want to run install again (yes, this is how you add/remove pacakges in cygwin)
Dewi: trisherino1: I feel sick just talking about it. You totally should have installed an ubuntu or debian VM

(Some time even later…)

trisherino1: argh! no gcc
Dewi: trisherino1: what the hell
Dewi: trisherino1: you’re compiling stuff now?!
Dewi: what have I created?
trisherino1: Dewi: figlet gave me all its source code
trisherino1: instead of something executable
trisherino1: le sigh
***trisherino1 goes back to figlet.org
trisherino1: Dewi: helllllp meeeee
trisherino1: hmmm oooh this keyboard is a little bit nicer. Spacebar is a bit temperamental though.
***trisherino1 downloads gcc
***trisherino1 whimpers
***Kewn strikes trisherino with a candlestick

(This went on for a few weeks. As it turns out, all that had to be done was install Cygwin and tick the box on an “install figlet” setting.)

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